February 20, 2024

A sperm donor’s can of worms

Assuming that letters to Slate’s agony aunt are 100% the real deal is a bit dangerous. A failed novelist in Brooklyn claims that he managed to get 12 fake “Dear Prudence” letters published. However, the current editor, Jenée Desmond-Harris, used to work at the New York Times and we must assume that she has highly developed fact-checking habits.

Because a November 7 letter is a humdinger which shows what happens when traditional marriage, gender relationships, sperm donation get scrambled together.

“Blood in Water” wrote a plaintive letter about his sperm donation. He is non-binary and is engaged to a non-binary female, if that makes sense. BinW’s sister is a lesbian and is same-sex married. They wanted a genetic connection to a child and demanded that he donate sperm. Very reluctantly, he did.

Eight embryos resulted, but only one resulted in a pregnancy. His sister-in-law is in danger of losing the baby, so BinW’s sister has given him notice that he would have to make another donation. He refused and she told him that he was killing their dream of having a family. He suggested that their father or her father-in-law donate. BinW’s mother and father have told him that he is being selfish; they want someone to carry on the family name. They had hoped that the baby would be named after BinW’s deceased sibling. His fiancée has told him to believe in the slogan “it’s my body and it’s my choice”.

What to do?

“Prudence” told him to stick to his guns. “There’s just no winning here, so withdraw your energy from them and redirect it toward your fiancée and your future together.”