April 23, 2024

“I trust the scientists; they know what they’re doing”

"Personally, I’ve had enough of these nay-sayers," says a prominent journalist working for The Onion news network. "They just love stopping progress. Why not use these 75-foot-tall crabs which can squirt acid 300-yards from their mouths and can solve Rubik’s cubes? We need them to revitalise America’s construction industry."